Epic Rally Fail

Sometime we all need a laugh, right?

I have no details about this clip, other than the obvious,  but it kind of made my day.  

Enjoy.

Driving a simulator has a strange effect on Kimi?

After Sports Illustrated's  epic "Juan Pablo Montoya returning to F1 for "Chap" Ganassi"  headline,  it's worth noting news of Raikkonen being "forced to drive a simulator" by Ferrari.

Amazingly, as per Great Britain's quality tabloid The Daily Star,  Raikkonen has come out of this harrowing experience looking a lot like Heikki Kovalainen.   

Oh well, I guess all Finns look the same.  Perkele!

Lamborghini Safety Car Fail.

Italian GT Championship at Vallelunga.   Granted, conditions were horrible but it's at the very least bad form for the safety car, a 4WD Lamborghini Gallardo to spin!

How bad was it? check out the highlight video after the break
(Via Michela Cerruti who was driving the white BMW Z4 GT3 you see caught out in the highlight clip)

Baltimore FAIL

...are you kidding me?

Why anyone would want to hold a race on the streets of Baltimore remains a mystery. Street courses generally blow anyway, the one in Baltimore more so than any other it seems. If it's not the asphalt peeling of, it's that ridiculous chicane and bottleneck on the main straight.

Add bad judgement by less than top tier drivers in the P2 class, a race determined by crashes and restarts and cut to just 41 laps and there you have it: a complete an utter fail.

Is this really what American racing fans want to see?

Kamui Kobayashi Crashes Ferrari F1 in Moscow

Kamui Kobayashi, now a Scuderia Ferrari driver  tried, perhaps a little too hard, to blend in with the local Russian driving style  this week end during a demo event in Moscow....

Somewhere Pastor Maldonado is smiling.





Kamui could have used a refresher..."How I stopped worrying and learned to love driving in the rain" and "Speed Secrets Saturday: Rain"

Ferrari Owners vs Ferrari Drivers

Photo: Dario D'Alba

To paraphrase Il Commendatore "There are Ferrari Owners and there are Ferrari Drivers".

There is a whole category of web sites who thrive on the frequent misadventures of the first and indeed Ferrari makes a pretty penny on cars and parts. Guess what, it turns out 550hp plus, mid engine sports cars need to be treated with some respect, shocker.

Witness this pathetic example.



- Car bought that very same morning? Check
- New tires, still with their greasy compound and perhaps Armor All'd at the dealer? Not check but likely, so check.
- Wet road? Check.
- "I'm taking the traction control off because real men don't need it and I saw Chris Harris skid on Drive today"? Check.
- Prerequisite shadines of owner when car mysteriously disappears from the road before police can get there? Check.

Only thing missing it was a fire. This latest fail happened in southern Italy and as sad as it was, it's important to remember that it's really a reflection of the driver not, as some would have it, the brand. After all, all it really takes to be a Ferrari owner is money.

Truth is, Ferraris rip hard and are sublime, it's just that not everyone has the stones to do sideways at 120 mph like our tracktard buddy Manu in this classic, one of the most epic videos in the history of tracktardism, for example. Now, THAT is a Ferrari Driver.

The lamest move EVER in motor sport?

Brazil,  it's raining buckets at the Autodromo Santa Cruz do Sol during a local 250cc bike race  when rider Marlington Teixeira  takes a spill.    Nothing serious or unusual there, everyone's crawling and there's a ton of water, the rider is not hurt.  But when Teixeira, nicknamed Kalunga, realizes there's bent bit on the bike and he would not be able to just hop back on and continue, well...  he turns to that time tested football trick,  the dive!

Helloo, Mr Kalunga, you DO realize there is a new invention called "video" yes?  

Apparently, not. Teixeira decides the best thing to do is to run across the track and lay there, pretending to be injured, until the race is black flagged.    Competitors stop and throw down their bikes in the mud to help this asshole who later claimed to have fainted.    Teixeira was banned from the championship but amazingly not for life.

Pastor Maldonado FAIL

Pastor Maldonado took to the street of Caracas with his state sponsored Williams to the bombastic announcements of Venezuelan TV proclaiming the revolutionary glory of La República Bolivariana de Venezuela.

People on the street had a good laugh when he bent it after two laps. "Hahaha, He even crashes here!" Pastor probably thought he saw Hamilton and Checo Perez in the crowd and will blame them.

Maldonado said "I had the line but the kerb cut me off and crashed into me"



(Thanks, Andres and @soimightbewrong and Kat Kim)



Where is Andres Cantor when you need him? "Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaash!"

Pace Car FAIL!

New Zealand, the 2012 Hampton Downs 12 Hour. Moral of the story: Don't use a Toyota Echo to pace GT3's just don't, it will be embarrassing and their tires will get cold!

http://www.jonolester.com

Scary Red Flag Fail

This happened recently in a German Formula Master, which is a lower level Formula 3 series with cars powered by 1.6l VW engines. What might have been lacking in active safety was made up by passive safety of the cars, we shudder to think what a crash like this might have looked like fifteen or twenty years ago.
(thanks to Motordangerous)

NürburgFAIL

May I suggest an "Occupy the 'Ring" movement? Problem is you can't put the genie back in the bottle, they can't tear down the deserted mall and the non working roller coaster, stop sucking tourists dry and return to the simple days of steak on stone and easy rentals. I don't really see a viable solution, do you? .

The traditional Thanksgiving Rally car toss

Spectacular Rally car fail compilation and a yearly reminder why Mrs Axis is thankful we have nothing to do with rally cars!
Clip contains NSFW language in many ...languages

Happy Thanksgiving!.

Eau Rouge does not discriminate!

From Alfa to Volvo everyone gets a chance to fail at Eau Rouge in the rain!

I imagine now that Spa is on GT5, so many more will go there convinced they can drive it "flat out" and keep local YouTubers busy. Interesting about this clip is the sheer variety seldom seen racers. When was the last time you saw spec Volvo 300s? What can you say about that Volvo PV racer?

Prototypes, legend clown cars, BMW Z4, lotus 7's...they all get a taste of that red water.
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Pit Entry FAIL

The Blancpain-Ritter Lamborghini Gallardo driven by Nikolaus Mayr-Melnhof fails spectacularly at making the turn into pit lane during this year's 24 hours of Spa.
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Epic Fail: Adrian Sutil crashes a Gumpert Apollo at the Ring

Adrian "Machete" Sutil continues his legendary string of epic fails this year. After his tuned Panamera, his throat slashing broken bottle bar fight with a top Renault exec, now comes a crash at a Nurburgring track day!.

In the age of twitter there is no escape for Machete, Chris Harris was there and tweeted a pic of Lewis' BFF right after the crash. Even better, our ol friend Dale who runs the best 'ring site out there, Bridgetogantry.com, was right behind and sent the picture above. I would make sure to tune in to BTG later for all the juicy details that are sure to follow. Juicy details like: ...it happened on the first corner! Machete annus horribilis, I guess.



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Hey drunk dudes: cars don't work without front wheels...

What's with this rash of accidents involving people royally screwing up their supercars and then thinking it's a good idea to continue driving down the road?

Jalopnik had found this incident involving a fully lipsticked 2011 997 GT3 RS in Texas. Details are sketchy other than evidence the car hit a curb but the owner kept going down the road leaving a trail of pars and fluids.



But crashing a simple RS pales in comparison to crashing a Mclaren SLR... twice and then blowing the engine by trying to drive the wreck onto a sidewalk.



The protagonist of this second spectacular fail is the husband of a pneumatically enhanced, ex-Flavio Briatore girlfriend, Italian "showgirl" Adriana Volpe.

The man, Roberto Parli, was heading home early in the morning towards Lugano, Switzerland when he sideswiped a car he was passing with enough force to shear off his front right wheel. Mr. Parli decided the best course of action would be to keep on going on three wheels, after all the SLR is a superbly balanced car, what could possibly go wrong? So on he went into a highway tunnel where he promptly had another crash, this time colliding with a truck and blowing his front left tire off the rim.

Those SLR are built strong because the guy still kept going for a few hundred meters when he finally decided it might be a good idea to park it...on a sidewalk.

Now, a sober man would have... ok, this would not have happened to a sober man, but someone less ripped would have realized the SLR was now a bit low in the front. Not so Mr. Parli who proceeded to gun the SLR's handmade engine in an effort to get the nose over the curb. He only stopped when smoke and fire started to come out the bonnet and a passing motorist convinced him to quit.

Police came, found his blood alcohol more than twice the legal limit and ripped up his license on the spot. Reports say Parli was heard proclaiming "I'm a millionaire, I'll pay for everything I don't care". Considering how the Swiss give out tickets based on personal wealth, we think he cared once he sobered up!


(Blick.ch)

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LOL Rally

Vai Vai....hey, wait for me!

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