That "I Drive Flat Out" Guy Really Exists And He Drives a Corvette Z06!

You all remember the seminal "I Drive Flat Out" parody clip from 2010 right?   It was a spot on caricature of "That Guy" so many of us have run into over years on track.

Well, I'm happy to report that in 2015  "That Guy" is alive and well and drives a Corvette Z06!

Years ago, the Axis of Oversteer used to award the ASSIE award to drivers who displayed epic asshat behavior on track.   We might just resurrect it for this "That Guy".




It's one thing to drive like a pussy on the banked turns because you suck so bad, it's a whole other thing to yell   "Eat my fuckin' dick, you little bitch" (about 6 minutes in) after passing a driver that is clearly letting you by, because you're ..."That Guy".

Hilariously, Mr. Flat Out gets passed on the banking every time, because he sucks so bad.

Predictably this just serves to fire him up more,  "That Guy" dive-bombs  slower cars left and right on his quest for track justice with Cato, his instructor,  occasionally karate chopping the air,

Raphael over at Jalopnik, who has more patience digging though the background of these things than we ever could, says the motivation here was Flat Out's disagreement with a Motor Trend comparison between the Porsche 991 GT3 and the Corvette Z06.

Yeah, "f!@k Motor Trend",  their  driver was clearly not driving flat out!

Amusingly , the GT3 seems to be very happily holding its own under acceleration, which might be the real surprise of this video.  Must have been because in the Porsche "was a professional driver with a race team"  while Flat Out has two half days on track ever which is all that his awesomeness needs.

So, congratulation Mr. Out you win the 2015 Assie Award.  I'm sure your Corvette buddies are real happy you perpetuated THAT stereotype!

Battle of the knobs: US vs UK

They both use the "elbow on window" driving technique for better cornering but who prevails,

Left Hand Drive?



or Right Hand Drive?

Axis Assie Award™ to Lewis Hamilton

I have been watching Formula 1 for longer than I care to admit, I have never seen a clown move such as what the "great" Lewis Hamilton pulled today in Canada. 

I'm sure the general UK press, like the commentator in this clip ("he was CLEARLY unsighted..."), will blame Raikkonen for stopping, the FIA for deploying the safety car, probably even the Mclaren mechanics for not telling him the light was red. 

I have a different theory, I think he was busy checking out the crowd to see if he was getting enough cheers. They may be laughing in Spain today....no wait, they are laughing all over the world.  Maybe Lewis wanted to make his father feel better for his own bonehead move crashing a Carrera GT while showing off to the neighbors.

Great for Kubica and BMW to inherit the win and the Championship lead. Massa got screwed in the first pit stop but then had the pass of the race when he outfoxed both Kovalainen and Barichello.

UPDATE:  Additional Assie awarded to Martin Whitmarsh of Mclaren who, complaining about the ten grid spot penalty imposed by the stewards on Hamilton, asked why Kimi Raikkonen did not get a penalized for running into the back of Adrian Sutil in Monaco.   

I believe Mr. Whitmarsh has been around racing long enough to understand the difference between losing control of a car on a wet track in the heat of battle and running into cars stopped at a red light in the pit lane....

another clip.... here the commentator (James Allen, thanks st3ph3n) blames the team... Hamilton gives his patented "I'm a good guy" tap to Kimi. Kimi should have gone Senna on him.

Subaru Asshattery

A word for the many readers visiting from the various Scoob forums: Welcome! I read your posts and I just wanted to clear the air with a few cold hard facts.

1. This was a track day where point bys WERE required (even in this the advanced group that somehow mr. Von Asshat got admission to). Some track days do not require points, this one did.
2. The Miata never gave the guy a point, when he moves in on the kink it is because, if you are not letting someone by that is the normal line before "No Name Straight" at Lime Rock. Should he have? maybe, but he did not. (he was just coming out of the pits).
3. Mr. Von Asshat seemed to be one of those drivers that drives fast only on the straights (using that awesome turbo torque). You can see how fast I close on him before he "wakes up". I don't think he hit an apex all day. He did almost hit a couple of cars though.
4. Some of my best friends drive Rally Cars!
5. Thank you very much for visiting, come back, enjoy the videos, join the forum!

And now back to our regularly scheduled show...

What is it about 4wd turbo cars that bring out the finest in its drivers? The fellow in the Blue scooby is the original track day assclown: on a single day at Lime Rock he almost took out 3 cars trying to outbrake them on the inside of Big Bend during the first hot lap, later almost shoved another car off the track trying to divebomb on the Downhill turn and later this lovely move.

As the clip starts I come up on him trundling along at Big Bend. As soon as he sees me, Mr.Scooby Von Asshat wakes up and steps on it...too bad he has a Miata in the way....Oh well no matter, I have a rally car I'll just pass him on the grass!


r/click here to download


the kicker is that looking around the internet I came upon a video of the same incident from the Miata's point of view! how cool is that? It does not look so dramatic but you can see the driver shaking his head in awe of Scooby Von Asshat mad Skillz in the fine art of being a retard! :o)
And yeah...he got himself kicked out of the event...

Enjoy!


r/click here to download

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery...

After the overwhelming success of the Axis of Oversteer "Assie" award, the renowned motorsport web site PLANET-F1.COM has decided to follow up with their "Golden Arse of 2006" award!... OK, so those British boys are a little late to the party but of course we welcome any form of much needed F1 related humor.
Axis Monaco GP album

"The PF1 Golden Arse Award

Following a season of dishing out the 'Arse of the GP' award, Planet-F1 has decided to award it's Arse of the Season, the top gong for ineptitude in F1. We've had Golden Globes, well, this is the Golden Arse.

Had it been awarded in 2005, then Takuma Sato would have been the clear winner for overtaking moves that looked so unlikely to come off, Tolstoy could have written a small novel in between when he launched his car up the inside and when the impact came.

This year Taku was no danger to anyone, other than at the Chinese GP when four cars were trying to get past him yet he was magnetically attached to the racing line, like some Scalextric slot car. Worryingly for the rest of his F1 colleagues Takuma only becomes a factor when he is running close to their speed, and in 2007, he will be back in the pack.

Announcing the awards in reverse order:

In third place, we have an organisation that committed such a stupid mistake, it might have rendered a multi-million pound investment redundant. What's more, they followed up their mistake by protesting that their first stupid mistake wasn't a mistake.

Let us point out right now that Schumi's parking incident at Monaco is not going to enter these awards, which are for sustained stupidity. Michael's error was done in a moment of madness. The Turkish GP organisers had weeks to think about their stupid move - deliberately not telling the FIA that the president of (politically sensitive) Turkish North Cyprus was going to present a prize on the podium of the Turkish GP.

They could have been staring at a position where after millions of dollars of investment, the race got cancelled. After all the post-race political furore, they even thought it might be a good idea to protest their $5m fine. Which even as this is written has yet to be paid. Talk about skating on thin ice...

In runners up position is a rookie who Ayrton Senna - had he been alive - would have cained. If he thought Eddie Irvine didn't show enough respect on his debut, then it's hard to think the extreme reaction that Scott Speed would have evoked.

Kimi Raikkonen was soon out of the 2006 title race and his exit, courtesy of Speed in Malaysia, didn't help. "I lost a wing and came back to the pits" was Speed's take on the accident. He lost his front wing by failing to brake for a corner and took Raikkonen out on the spot. This, he believed, was Raikkonen's fault.

In Australia he got a rare FIA fine of $5000 for abusive language, and at Silverstone he tried to overtake Ralf Schumacher going into the high-speed Becketts sweeps that are taken flat out. The subsequent accident took out both Ralf and Mark Webber adding to the monumental misery of the Williams team in 2006.

Afterwards, though, he wouldn't admit that the accident was as stupid as Yuji Ide's F1 career-ending prang at Imola and maintained that "Ralf didn't see me". Though you tend not to when you're going into a flat-out corner and the car behind is not even halfway alongside.

So, Scott Speed richly deserves his runner-up position.

However the gold goes to a man who is allegedly paid $22.5m a year. An incredible amount for someone who must rank behind Schumi, Alonso, Raikkonen, Massa, Button, Barrichello, Webber, Trulli and Coulthard in sheer talent. Neither does he keep his indiscretions solely to the racetrack, in the past he has had to hurriedly divest himself of investments in a company making sex aids.

In Bahrain he was busy asking his mechanics to make adjustments for Session 2 of Qualifying when they had to point out to him that he wasn't actually taking part in Session 2.

At the European GP he managed to take out both Red Bull cars with one solid nudge

At the Canadian GP he continued to drive around and around when he was seven or eight seconds off the pace. Stopping would have been so much safer. His mobile chicane of a car was far more dangerous in the blind sections of the track, especially later in the race when taking avoiding action meant going off line.

Jacques Villeneuve came upon him at speed, went centimetres off line and his car 'hydroplaned' on the marbles and hit the barriers.

In Germany accidents in qualifying, the race and almost in the pitlane marked this out as yet another stand-out performance.

If you hadn't already guessed, the 2006 Golden Arse goes to Ralf Schumacher. Overpaid is not the word.

The Axis awards its first "Assie" award.

The Axis Of Oversteer infamous "Assie" award was bestowed on a fellow track Day partecipant this past week end at Pocono Raceway. The honor of being chosen as the recipient of the "Axis of Oversteer Assclown Award™" for the first time goes to the mustachioed driver of this aero-modifed Caterham thing.
When queried after the session as to why he did not just move over, the mustachioed one came out with this gem "If this had been a race I would never had let you by" thereby proving himself to be an A#1 USDA prime AssClown. He followed that up with a lame "I never saw you guys" further confirming his adherence of the Wanker credo.

Of course we could have told him that it was NOT a race, or perhaps that if it HAD been a race he might have been nurfed into the sand, or even that once he was out of the way both Stee and myself lapped a full 2 seconds quicker....
Instead we decided, unanimously, to bestow upon him this honor and memento so that he may treasure it forever.
Mr Aero-Caterham, you may one day come to your senses and stop driving like a clueless fool but you will always be the first Axis TrackDay Assclown™, Congratulations.

Click on the window below and watch for the words of wisdom at the end of the clip.



Click to download